t_wistfulheart

What color is your soul painted? Blue Your soul is painted the color blue, which embodies the characteristics of peace, patience, understanding, health, tranquility, protection, spiritual awareness, unity, harmony, calmness, coolness, confidence, dependability, loyalty, idealism, tackiness, and wisdom. Blue is the color of the element Water, and is symbolic of the ocean, sleep, twilight, and the sky.

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I'm having a sad and angry evening.

No matter how much I try to bury myself in happy fic, life just won't let me forget that sometimes loss just can't be avoided. If we don't like Real Life, we can't just switch to an AU when we want to.

When it comes right down to it, Ennis was right. Not everything can be fixed.

But damn it, I don't have to like it!

Hey folks,
Someone else wanted an update, so I'll just post whatever comes to mind. It was a LONG day at the convention. George Takei and Walter Koenig spoke this morning. George was wonderful - extremely articulate. Someone asked and he spoke a bit about why he "outed" himself to the press - although, he corrected the person who asked him "why now?" by saying he'd been "out" in his community for a couple decades. Walter was pretty funny - and spent a bit of time hollering to the back that he could hear George still back there talking. Nichelle Nichols later the afternoon. DC Fontana. Ok, so I'm too lazy to try to recall any more specific things people said. ;) And most of you probably could care less, anyway. (Somewhere down the line, though, there will be slash related comments, if you care to keep reading)

Oh, and Melinda kept dragging me back to the vendor room saying "you've got to come see this." Geez. And then I'd be the one spending mega bucks, and she'd just stand there and encourage me to do it. Yesterday, I got a signed glossy of Jensen/Jared (from Supernatural) and a poster of each of them. Oh, and a Supernatural calendar, too. Today, I got a signed glossy of Ennis - the one where he's sitting with the two herding dogs. God, it's absolutely beautiful. I got a smaller 4x6 card of it, too. Wish they'd had one of Jack napping with the dog by his side.

Had gotten to the vendor's room early.... oh... folks, I only did a LJ cut once time before... and I no longer remember how to do it... plus, I'm slightly inebriated... so, I apologize to all of you getting this long post on your friends page. Maybe you'll forgive me, since I seldom post much of anything at all.

Ok, what was I saying. Oh, early to the vendor's room to get Wil Wheaton's book. But the little twerp (hmm... well, turns out he's only 6 years younger than me) overslept - and I had to wait and go back later. Did get his books.

Got a little teary eyed over a video of DeForest Kelley - footage from conventions. I never got to see him, myself.

Then got dragged to the vendor's room again. Spent $25 on 4x6 cards with Supernatural pics (quite a few for that price) and three of BBM. This is where the slash stuff comes in. The woman looked at me and ... wait... rewind to earlier in the day...

Same woman was selling me two pics of Jack and the signed one of Ennis I already mentioned. She looks at me and says, (seeing that I was buying mostly Jack) you do realize this is the blonde one, don't you? (while she's holding up Ennis's pic) Uh... yeah. She continues. "It's not the same guy as the other two." Melinda is standing over my shoulder saying.... yeah, believe me, she knows. And I looked at the woman and said... look, I'm wearing BBM fanfic memorabilia (FaLW dogtags), I KNOW who the pic is. ;)

OK, fast forward back to the afternoon again. I said something about Jack as I'm counting all these bazillion cards I'm buying. She pics up my dogtags and tries to read them. Jack Twist. Asking if it was Jack somebody the hell else. I said, no, Jack Twist ... you're selling me some of his pics, and you don't know who he is? I flashed the Jack and Ennis standing by the truck card at her.

Then she gets a look on her face and says in a somewhat low voice, "Do you like reading THOSE kind of stories." Me: what kind? Her: like two men. Melinda: you mean SLASH? LOL I said yeah, and I forget how it happened but she started talking about where there might be a slash convention. Drags me over to another booth where her "mate" was. Turns out it's the woman I paid mega bucks to the day before for my signed Jensen/Jared pic. Is this some kind of conspiracy or something??? I'd told the woman the other day that I liked that pic better even though the other she had was "more slashy." She hadn't batted an eye. Today, though, we stand around for 30 minutes as the place is trying to close down around us - and she's telling me about the tiny slash con they do in Vegas every July - and one that goes on in Houston in March. LOL Some of the folks in her group lie to their husband about what they go to talk about. Her husband was standing there trying to shut down there display as we were gabbing. Said something along the line of it being just a bunch of horny women. That wasn't the word he used... I can't remember, but that was the theme. I told him, "sounds like some of my best friends!" LOL

Umm... I apologize again. I know this is VERY long.

Lastly, Star Trek: The Experience party. OMG. Don't read past this if you don't want ST: The Experience spoilers, because I can't remember how to do the damned LJ cut. We did the Klingon one first, and it was f*cking AWESOME! I swear, there is NOTHING like having the Enterprise swoop in and save your ass when the Klingons are about to zap you into non-existence. It was unbelievable. I'm still marveling over the feeling of that. Just some kind of instant familiarity - you're in dire peril - and then there she is - that beautiful ship. I swear, I was high before I ever got to the alcohol. We went right to the Borg invasion after that. NEVER seen 3D stuff quite so real. It was something... just not as absolutely kick ass as being saved by the Enterprise, though. ;)

Went to dinner (in Quark's - still the party going on). Had a margarita. Spied Connor Trinnear on the other side of a partition thing - cutout in the middle - couple of feet wide. Wide enough for me to reach through and beg for a handshake from teh side I was on. It was PACKED in there, no hope of getting to his side - people were squeezed in to ogle Chase Masterson whowas singing on stage. I spent a while ogling his posterior view after he turned back around. Damn, I think it was better than the front view. Yum. I wasn't the only one, either.

Back to the Klingon battle - so the Enterprise could swoop in to rescue me again. LOL :) And then back to Quark's where I imbibed something called a Mind Meld. I have a question, though. Shouldn't a Mind Meld involve TWO people? It was somewhat sad not to have someone - oh, like maybe SPOCK on the other side of that Mind Meld. :( So, without that, maybe it was just a mind Melt. It's probably also responsible for this EXCEEDINGLY LONG journal entry ya'll probably quit reading about a mile back. LOL Have to wait till Sunday to see Spock. Have a photo-op with Nimoy. They were very clear that we were getting "less than 15 seconds" worth of time. Geez. Oh well. I love the man. So, I'm not complaining.

Hmm... you know, I believe it's probably necessary that I sleep now. LOL I'm sure ya'll are very relieved. Assuming you made it this far. ;) Aren't ya'll glad I don't drink more often??? *grin*

Hi folks,
Thought I'd just drop a note (heh... and actual journal post on my journal - how about that) from the Trek convention in Vegas.

It's 12:30am, and I've been tipsy at least twice today. First, from the Riker-Rita I had with my late lunch at Quark's Bar and Grill. Yum. Although, I wish I'd gotten the Borg Sphere that someone one table over ordered. It was green and arrived in a fish bowl - boiling and smoking, practically. Oh well, maybe tomorrow. There was also a Mind Meld and a Bolian Sunrise. Tell you what, this would have been the place to visit with a couple drinking buddies in tow. ;)

We talked to a Vulcan, a Klingon, and a Borg while eating lunch. Melinda kept asking the Borg questions about his mechanical arm - what it did, etc. and exclaimed that she really liked it. Deadpan, he replied, "I have no opinion of your appendages." LOL

Second time, I was tipsy on just sheer laughter. Wil Wheaton (who I LOVE much more now as a writer and blogger than I did when he was Wesley Crusher) spoke for an hour and read excerpts out of a couple of his books. OMG, I haven't laughed so much in I don't know when. One of the excerpts was from some chapters he wrote giving reviews of some TNG episodes. He gave us the "R" version as opposed to the PG-13, but that material just BEGGED for some NC-17. Too bad. *sigh* Hilarious, though. He even made some references to fanfiction. Would love to know what he thinks about slash fiction.

Tomorrow night, we have tickets to the dinner party at Star Trek: The Experience and Quark's. Maybe I'll get that Mind Meld, after all. ;) As for now, I think I'm going to collapse. LOL

I shouldn't be up this late. Delirium sets in, and there's no telling what strange thoughts may come out. This is of a personal nature. So, if this post hit your friends page just because you were nice enough to friend me so I could read your stories, you don't have to feel obligated to read this.

( Everything I know about life I learned from BBM and fanfiction... )

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Title: Hay
AU: J/E Drabble
Word count: 100
Summary: a short every-day moment in their "sweet life"
For grieving_pln for late-night encouragement and challenge, and for Daddy even though he'll never see it.
Disclaimer: The characters of Brokeback Mountain belong to Annie Proulx, Diana Ossana, Larry McMurtry, and Focus Features

---

( Hay )

This very small attempt was written for the Brokeback Mountain Comment Ficathon by trascendenza. It's dedicated to bcatjr for prodding me into it - and for being a friend.

*****

Bring on the Night

Night came faster on the mountain. Maybe it was just two fellas wishin' the sun right out of the sky. Bring on the night and narrow the world down to a few square feet of bedroll - nothin but the dark and the feel of another's shared breath.

But night came slow to the grieving plain. Sun had a long trip to reach the horizon - couldn't just hide quick behind the shoulder of the mountain. The too bright day was now measured out in solitary breaths. Too many breaths.

Bring on the night.

"Pacifist," huh? Yeah, that would probably be me. ;) "Untenable situations"... Uh oh... that could refer to my mom moving in with me in a couple months. Yeah, that one would definitely be it. *not going to think about that now; I'll think about that tomorrow. Maybe. *

You're Catch-22!

by Joseph Heller

Incredibly witty and funny, you have a taste for irony in all that you see. It seems that life has put you in perpetually untenable situations, and your sense of humor is all that gets you through them. These experiences have also made you an ardent pacifist, though you present your message with tongue sewn into cheek. You could coin a phrase that replaces the word "paradox" for millions of
people.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Finally! I get to be evil! Geez, you know, it's been an uphill battle all the way, too. That's what I get for being saddled with a name that all the books say means "pure." ;)

You Are 40% Pure

You're usually the typical girl or guy next door... But you also have a secret naughty side!

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

Karen took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Desires a tranquil, peaceful state of harmony offe..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

Yeah, I do realize this is very weird. It's what happens with too little sleep, too much stress, and a random image taking up residence in my mind.

Make me Invisible

Jack - invisible
negative space
a white space gif file in somebody else's webpage (probably L.D.'s)

Or so he felt...

Ennis - would have given anything to fade into the background.
instead, one of those flashing marquee banners
a gaudy display condemned by society and every web-design manual ever written.

Or so he felt...

Hah! How about that? My very first post had a mood assignment. That's once out of a grand total of four posts - well, this makes five. LOL

t_wistfulheart is emotionally distant.

I bet no one's surprised that you never post your current mood. In fact, I bet most of your friends are so sick of you locking them out of your life that they hate you behind your back. Shame.

wanna know your lj's moodring color? enter your user name and hit the button. (discussion thread)

Good heavens. If I had any doubt that I was an Ennis after the last little quiz I took (which I didn't), then here's another resounding vote.

Too funny. Of course, I seldom post anything at all on my LJ, but when I do, I don't think I've done the mood thing. One time, I spent a lot of time trying to decide what fit and what should be divulged. Never did settle on anything. Geez.

You know, you'd think I'd feel perfectly safe posting any manner of things on here. I mean, who's going to see them, anyway? One out of maybe three or four people?

And no... I'm not going to try to decipher a mood to post for this one, either. ;)

1. Grab the nearest book. ( Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or"intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.)
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.

Ok, since I'm totally book-addicted (or was before I got bitten by the BBM fanfic bug), I can't possibly do just one. So....

Nonfiction - sitting here on the table by my chair:
As water warms, it expands. In a small body of water, the effect is small; in a big body, it's commensurately larger. Most of the sea level rise predicted for the next hundred years -- a total of up to three feet -- is purely a function of thermal expansion. ~~ Field Notes from a Catastrophe- Man, Nature, and Climate Change by Elizabeth Kolbert

Fiction - sitting on my nightstand - but which I'm actually listening to on my iPOD on the way to and from work:
Like any schoolchild, I had read Dickens. And earlier authors, as well, with their descriptions of the pitiless justice of these times, meted out to all ill-doers, regardless of age or circumstance. But to read, from a cozy distance of one or two hundred years, accounts of child hangings and judicial mutilation, was a far different thing than to sit quietly pounding herbs a few feet above such an occurrence. ~~ Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

Field Notes was recommended by NRDC and has been sitting here since this summer (coincidentally, about the time the fanfic bug bit me). Outlander is a book (beginning of a series, actually) that I've read many times before. It's one of my favorites.

Not Deep Enough

Blue sky
Not deep enough... to help me picture him

Bottle
Not deep enough... to let me forget him

Wound
Not deep enough... to send me after him



*****
for Maggie (b73) - "Uncle"